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Post by Deanguisher on Dec 22, 2005 22:09:49 GMT -8
ok theres these 2 midgets they go to a church in antarctica. They go up to the nun and asks him, Do you have any midget nuns here, the nun says no why. Then 1 midget turns to the other midget and say Hah i told u that u f**ked a penguin =)
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Post by grayfox7 on Dec 23, 2005 9:48:44 GMT -8
I heard a much longer version of that one before, with ten midgets or so and they keep giggling whenever the lead midget talks.
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Post by Deanguisher on Dec 25, 2005 22:02:23 GMT -8
theres a brunet a red head and a blond and their all on an island stranded there. Then The brunet finds a Coconut and she cracks it open. A genie pops out of it and says i will getant you 1 wish. The Brunet says i wish i was home, the wish was granted and she was home. Then the red head wishes that she was home too, Wish is Granted she's home. Then the genie comes to the blonde and she says well im getting a little lonley i wish my friends were back. The Wish is granted and her friends were back. Then they said hey i thought we were home and the genie says ok all your wishes are gone bye. Then all night they were beating up the blonde until she died the next morning.
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Post by greeny on Dec 25, 2005 22:57:15 GMT -8
usually the joke stops at the friends being back.....
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Post by Deanguisher on Jan 1, 2006 15:55:09 GMT -8
K theirs these 2 preachers ok and they go on a fishing trip and one of them catches a BIG fish and they were realing him in and he said wowo look at this big sonbitch. The other preacher says u cant say words like that to me im part of the cloth and the preacher replies no no no thats the name of the fish a sonbitch. and he says o ok lets go show this to the cardinal.
so they go to the cardinal and say look at this big sonbitch we caught. The Cardinal says u cant say word sto me like that im part of the cloth. THen they say no no no thats the name of the fish and we were thinking about having this for dinner with the pope. The cardinal says ok.
So they sit down with the pope and the pope says whats for dinner tonight and the preachers say we caught this big sonbitch and its the biggest fish we've ever caught and we thought we'd cook it and share it with you. The pope stares at them stands up and says: you mother f**kers are alright.
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Post by Deanguisher on Jan 1, 2006 15:56:23 GMT -8
its supposed to be bich stupid thing
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Post by Chalupa! on Jan 7, 2006 13:50:30 GMT -8
Q: What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs? A: Nice Tits
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Post by Deanguisher on Jan 9, 2006 15:55:48 GMT -8
Q: If a girl with the biggest boobs works at hooters then where does a girl with 1 leg work at?
A: IHOP
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Post by Deanguisher on Jan 9, 2006 16:11:00 GMT -8
Lesson One An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you! and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson - (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends your two minute management course
Happiness keeps you sweet, Trials keep you strong, Sorrows keep you human, Failures keeps you humble, Success keeps you glowing, But only God Keeps you going!
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Post by LostPeon™ on Jan 9, 2006 17:05:36 GMT -8
I got a chuckle or two out of that one. Nice.
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Post by greeny on Jan 16, 2006 22:15:41 GMT -8
I found that pretty clever and relevant. Where'd you find it?
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Post by Deanguisher on Jan 18, 2006 16:42:48 GMT -8
My GirlFriend e-mailed it 2 me
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Post by Deanguisher on Jan 30, 2006 16:14:33 GMT -8
What do u say if u see your tv floating in the middle of the night?
Put it down African Americaner
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Post by Deanguisher on Jan 30, 2006 16:15:02 GMT -8
Lord i appologize 4 that amen
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Post by Deanguisher on Feb 14, 2006 18:19:52 GMT -8
how do u get a mexican to stop going in your front yard?
Put the trash cans in your back yard
Lord i appologize for that Amen
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