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Post by fuzzyrubberbear on Dec 8, 2005 13:17:36 GMT -8
A polish man walks into a store and asks the cashier for some polish sausage, some polish ham, some polish eggs, and some polish bacon The cashier asks " sir are you polish? " he says, " yes, how did you know? " The cashier says, " this is a f**king hardware store "
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Post by Chalupa! on Dec 8, 2005 19:02:33 GMT -8
A Pole came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!"
What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing. "Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
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Post by fuzzyrubberbear on Dec 8, 2005 19:23:47 GMT -8
ok im sure divinity will like this one please tell me if u like this one so these two chinese people had just gotten married, and were both virgins. One night, the husband wanted to impress his wife, so in bed, he says, " ill do anyting u want, anyting" ( in an asian voice ) The wife thinks for a moment, then says, " i want, i want, i wanta numba 69! " the husband looks back at her with a puzzled look and says " you want beef with broccoli? "
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Post by Chalupa! on Dec 9, 2005 14:48:48 GMT -8
These two Polish men rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"
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Post by ♦Whot♦ on Dec 9, 2005 17:49:44 GMT -8
ok im sure divinity will like this one please tell me if u like this one so these two chinese people had just gotten married, and were both virgins. One night, the husband wanted to impress his wife, so in bed, he says, " ill do anyting u want, anyting" ( in an asian voice ) The wife thinks for a moment, then says, " i want, i want, i wanta numba 69! " the husband looks back at her with a puzzled look and says " you want beef with broccoli? Two fatfubbabehrs had just married and both are virgins. Fatfubbabehr#1 wanted to impress it's fatfubbabehr#2, so in bed, it says, "ill do anyting u want, anyting". Fatfubbabehr#2 thinks for a moment, then says "i want, i want, i wanta numba 69!" fatfubbabehr looks back at it with a puzzled look and says "you want beef fatfubbabehrs?" I think that about explains what I think of it. My joke today: Redneck Wins the Lottery A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million." To which the man replied, "No sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years. The Redneck said, "I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it." Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY!! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!''
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Post by greeny on Dec 9, 2005 21:11:45 GMT -8
Since chalupa seems to be fond of polish jokes...... (I must say they do make for some of the best ) There were two guards standing at the entrance to the Olympic Village. A man and a woman dressed very scantily came and said "Russian Skating Team". "Go on" The guard let them enter. Then came five men with skis: "Canadian Skiing Team". "Go on" The guard let them enter. Then, the guard sees three guys carrying a large roll of chicken wire. "Polish fencing team" they say. "Go on........"
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Post by ♦Whot♦ on Dec 9, 2005 23:26:28 GMT -8
Golf Genie A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.
They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.
The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?"
"No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered.
The wife asked, "Are you a genie?"
"Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself," the man replied.
The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.
The genie nodded his head and said, "Done!"
The genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire."
The husband and wife agreed.
After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?"
To which she responded, "Three years."
The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?"
To which she replied, "31 years old"
The genie then asked, "And how long has he believed in this genie crap?"
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Post by raen7 on Dec 10, 2005 0:26:14 GMT -8
A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much it cost?" A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Sigged. Freaking sigged.
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Post by fuzzyrubberbear on Dec 12, 2005 15:13:16 GMT -8
How do asians name their children?
Throw a cup of spoons down the stairs
( if u dont get it just ask )
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Post by raen7 on Dec 12, 2005 15:48:31 GMT -8
Because of the sounds it makes? "ping pong zing yang dong" sort of thing?
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Post by fuzzyrubberbear on Dec 12, 2005 19:45:08 GMT -8
yea lol
ching chang clang chong
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Post by Deanguisher on Dec 21, 2005 18:30:17 GMT -8
what is the difference between a democrat and a puppy?
Eventually a puppy stops whining
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Post by fuzzyrubberbear on Dec 21, 2005 19:59:52 GMT -8
haha good one
why are black people getting stronger? TV's are getting heavier
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Post by Deanguisher on Dec 22, 2005 22:00:51 GMT -8
What is the difference between a democrate and a puppy?
eventually a puppy stops whining.
lolz
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Post by Deanguisher on Dec 22, 2005 22:07:34 GMT -8
oops didnt know i already posted that 1 lol
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potatoe?
A Dictator =)
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