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Post by davylan on Nov 17, 2004 18:17:06 GMT -8
Here's a lil nasty but funny sex joke ppls One day a tomato and lettuce were talking. The tomato said, "I h8 my life, all they do is chop me up and turn me into ketchup! The lettuce replied, "Well mine's pretty bad too, they chop me up and eat me! Then suddenly a thingy(male sexual organ) popped up from no where and said, "You think your lives are bad? They stuck me in and out of a dark tunnel until I threw up!!" Tell me what u think ppls or make sum other jokes
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Post by davylan on Nov 17, 2004 20:04:42 GMT -8
What are u when ur in the bathroom?
Ura-pean
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Post by trashbag on Nov 19, 2004 2:37:57 GMT -8
Very funny! ;D
Well, I only have one joke at this time and I've already posted it in the never ending story but here goes one last time:
Why couldn't John Kerry sleep with his wife during the US presidential election campaign?
*highlight below to reveal hidden answer:
Because every time he looked between her fine slender legs, all he could see was Bush.
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Post by davylan on Nov 19, 2004 5:41:09 GMT -8
LOL! Trash_bag that was funny!
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Post by metallicarulez on Dec 12, 2004 11:33:36 GMT -8
Sort of Corny and old but still a classic...
One day bill clinton was walking around outside of the white house when he saw "die clinton die" written in the snow in urine..He had people test it to see who it was. They came back and said we have good news and bad news. The good news is it's al gores handwriting. Clinton asked so what could possibly be the bad news. They said it turns out it was hillary's handwriting....
HAHAHHAHA....ummmm yea
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Post by barneypwnz on Dec 13, 2004 20:32:53 GMT -8
What's that Metallica? I think it would make more sense if it was Hillay's urine and gore's handwriting, or vice-versa. It sounds weird if it was BOTH their handwriting... Anyway here is my joke (a little weird and crazy but I slightly made it up in second grade and loved it ever since):
Knock-knock, Who's there? A crocodile! A crocodile who?
A Crocodile bit off my face!!! ;D ;D ;D
Hehehe... You either love it or you hate it, although the majority of you probably hate it. Classic, in my opinion.
Barney
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Post by trashbag on Dec 14, 2004 5:12:33 GMT -8
Nice contribution Metallica ;D and yes, I got it no problem.
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Post by jonathonkiler on Dec 14, 2004 7:28:13 GMT -8
This one is the classic candy sexual joke that I heard a long time ago. I warn those with weak constitutions to please not read this joke. It is sexually based and I don't want to offend any of you. I put it in a color so that you have to highlight it to read it.
It starts here It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar.
I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for 100 Grand?”<br> Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy!
I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots.
It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!”
Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way.
She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, “Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff.” I said, “Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?”
(What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!)
She screamed, “Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!” as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup.
Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden... my Starburst!
Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach.
Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Baby Ruth!
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Post by LostPeon™ on Dec 14, 2004 9:27:37 GMT -8
Hilarious!!! I had a good laugh over that one, jon. True, not for the easily offended, but funny never the less. That is a classic, I'm surprised I haven't heard it before.
LostPeon
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Post by pandora99 on Dec 14, 2004 9:37:13 GMT -8
hahahahahah jon jon that was so cute lol good thinking putting it in invisible ink LOL
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Post by jonathonkiler on Dec 15, 2004 8:49:16 GMT -8
You have no idea how long it took me to find the correct color code for the "invisible" ink.
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Post by death0817 on Dec 16, 2004 12:49:58 GMT -8
What do you call 20,000 lawyers under the sea?
A good start ^^
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Post by Chalupa! on Dec 16, 2004 13:28:58 GMT -8
What is the difference between a dead dog in the road, and a dead lawyer in the road??
There are skid marks leading to the dead dog!
;D ;D ;D
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Post by killa469 on Dec 16, 2004 15:55:31 GMT -8
Christmas Story for people having a bad day.... When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did Not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs.. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. Thisstressed Santa even more.When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them wereabout to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heavenknows where.
More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, And the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke Into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end
Of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?
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Post by pandora99 on Dec 16, 2004 19:27:43 GMT -8
MIA ONE PUNCHLINE 0.o
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