Post by Cryme Tyme on Feb 16, 2008 12:10:35 GMT -8
> 1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will
> keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
>
> 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If
> she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will
> impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
>
> 3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are
> like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
>
> 4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she
> is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
> show her you care.
>
> 5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her
> fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every
> girl needs some improvement.
>
> 6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then whenshe's
> sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelery is for
> wussies and Asian ladies.
>
> 7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is,
> stare into her eyes, mouth the words "**** you" and grab the other girl's
> butt. girls love competition.
>
> 8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks
> it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When
> she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're
> really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts
> crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper
> very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
>
> 9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special
> nicknames.
>
> 10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
>
> 11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket, because
> then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't
> stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a
> black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
>
> 12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the
> bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party
> is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.
>
> 13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick
> the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?
>
> 14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10
> minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and
> you can use your arms for more important things (like pumping iron).
>
> 15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
>
> 16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her
> self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down
> desires to be.
>
> 17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or
> anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way,
> she'll go crazy.
>
> 18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and
> say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that
> speaks for her.
>
> 19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a
> spontaneous guy.
>
> 20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it
> (but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking
> about).
>
> 21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's
> just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to
> stop crying. Girls like a tough man.
>
> 22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
>
> 23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This
> way she'll think you're mysterious.
>
> 24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that
> material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is that
> she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever
> get.
>
> 25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just
> whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's
> coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present
> visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that
> much, but guys think it's funny.
>
> 26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise
> her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure
> that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to
> tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Don't call.
> keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
>
> 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If
> she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will
> impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
>
> 3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are
> like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
>
> 4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she
> is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
> show her you care.
>
> 5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her
> fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every
> girl needs some improvement.
>
> 6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then whenshe's
> sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelery is for
> wussies and Asian ladies.
>
> 7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is,
> stare into her eyes, mouth the words "**** you" and grab the other girl's
> butt. girls love competition.
>
> 8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks
> it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When
> she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're
> really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts
> crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper
> very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
>
> 9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special
> nicknames.
>
> 10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
>
> 11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket, because
> then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't
> stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a
> black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
>
> 12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the
> bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party
> is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.
>
> 13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick
> the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?
>
> 14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10
> minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and
> you can use your arms for more important things (like pumping iron).
>
> 15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
>
> 16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her
> self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down
> desires to be.
>
> 17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or
> anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way,
> she'll go crazy.
>
> 18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and
> say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that
> speaks for her.
>
> 19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a
> spontaneous guy.
>
> 20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it
> (but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking
> about).
>
> 21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's
> just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to
> stop crying. Girls like a tough man.
>
> 22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
>
> 23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This
> way she'll think you're mysterious.
>
> 24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that
> material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is that
> she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever
> get.
>
> 25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just
> whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's
> coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present
> visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that
> much, but guys think it's funny.
>
> 26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise
> her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure
> that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to
> tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Don't call.