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Post by happy5 on Oct 10, 2006 10:50:16 GMT -8
Greenbooger and Echris those are the best. I laughed so hard i almost pissed my pants.
When I was doing my internship (substance abuse counselor) I was incharge of running group therapy. Class started and in wondered a sixty year old client drunk as hell explaining he wasnt an alcholic and didn't need to be there. I took his keys, excused him from class and told him to walk home. He left or so I thought. Ten minutes later, I put in a movie and went to investigate moaning noises. I found my old drunk guy at the bottom of a flight of stairs. Panicked he was sure his ass was bleeding. There was no obvious signs of blood so I help him up, led him to the bathroom and told him to check out his ass. 20 minutes later, believing he had passed out I opened the door. To my shock there was this 6 ft, 190-200lb, sixty year old man standing on the counter with his pants around his ankles studying his ass in the mirror. To cover the very embarrising situation, I asked if he found any blood on his but. Teary eyed and sniffling, he replied, "No...but I have a crack in it!"
There was nothing left to say after that.
Moral of the story drink to much and at sixty you too may discover your ass crack!!!!
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Post by greeny on Oct 10, 2006 20:11:52 GMT -8
that can't be true..
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Post by happy5 on Oct 10, 2006 21:29:53 GMT -8
Sadly, yes greeny this is true. I meet drunk or high dumb asses everyday. I get to deal with what's left over after the party has ended.
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Post by greenbooger on Oct 11, 2006 9:08:09 GMT -8
omg that sucks....need my help (:
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Post by death0817 on Oct 12, 2006 22:32:15 GMT -8
Hey guys! Remember me? Been a while huh? How is everyone? You guys are all in college by now right? I'm at Georgia State University. Look me up on Facebook: Zhengge Zhang. Hope to catch up with you guys.
Later
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Post by Chalupa! on Oct 13, 2006 0:17:00 GMT -8
Hey Death! Yes, I do remember you. How have you been? What are you majoring in?
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Post by greeny on Oct 13, 2006 22:09:07 GMT -8
Hey Death! Glad to see you back!
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dxlightning
Platinum Membership
[ss:LostPeon's Gray][ss:LostPeon's Gray]
Posts: 1,246
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Post by dxlightning on Oct 15, 2006 17:34:18 GMT -8
Well I can't say I have any college stories, seeing as I'm not in college yet, but last week I did something in my History class I think you'll all respect.
I had 115% in my history class at this point, and I had always wondered what would happen if I incorporated a rather srious amount of religion in my responses. Therefore, when we had a test and getting a 0 on it would only bring me down to 105%, I answered every question pertaining to God. It was largely on the bill of rights. Some of the questions were, for example...
"Who started the major rebellion which emphasized the need for a Bill of Rights?" I answered God.
"Why did this person start this rebellion?" ...because it was His will.
The teacher, of course, didn't know that I really don't worship at all. Of course the answers were supposed to be "Shay" and "because his state's laws favored the rich," but I thought it would be fun to see what would happen.
She came up to me after class and asked me about my answers. I explained to her that it was my belief that all of these things had been actions of God and that, in truth, marking me wrong would deny my freedom of religion. This was, of course, a complete crackpot claim, but the teacher gave in, and while she explained to me she couldn't give me 100%, she did in fact give me a passing grade. My grade in the class is still 111%.
Friday, we had another quiz, and at the top was a disclaimer that said:
"Note: Answer all questions according to CLASS discussions and material from your HISTORY TEXT."
Chris's post reminded me of this because I am now, also, a legend in my school.
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Post by LostPeon™ on Oct 15, 2006 17:36:32 GMT -8
Damn... why didn't I ever think of doing that?
Then of course, in college, the professors wouldn't give a rat's ass... but in high school... brilliant!
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dxlightning
Platinum Membership
[ss:LostPeon's Gray][ss:LostPeon's Gray]
Posts: 1,246
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Post by dxlightning on Oct 31, 2006 13:35:26 GMT -8
Okay so here's another of my brilliant schemes. My government teacher told me that if I were to dress up in a way that suggests I've committed a crime for halloween(today), he'd give me extra credit. Being the silly person I am, I was partying all night last night and completely forgot this morning. What did I do? "Mr C, I'm dressed as a rapist." "Well, I'm sorry, I just can't tell." "Mr. C, they never can."
Suffice it to say, I got my extra credit.
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Post by technohawk on Oct 31, 2006 14:56:15 GMT -8
That's great improv to get the credit.
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Post by LostPeon™ on Oct 31, 2006 20:56:09 GMT -8
Wow, that seemed like something rbob-esque.
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Post by mephistool on Oct 31, 2006 21:28:58 GMT -8
Dx is a genius.
Although he's right, I couldn't tell it was coming. Dx scarred me for life.
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Post by irishillini81 on Feb 7, 2007 17:47:54 GMT -8
Welll, I definitely have a few I can add to this.
On my 21st birthday I went out to a campus bar called Brothers. My friends came out there and we celebrated the whole night. Some of the guys I played ball with kept getting me these drinks called Swampwater and I was double-fisting the entire night. I didn't feel that drunk really by the time the bar closed, but I ended up falling down the stairs to get out, then proceeded to crawl down Green street (the main street on campus here) until I got to a travel agents office and tried to break in because I wanted to go to Jamaica. My friends stopped me in time and I didn't remember much of it when I woke up in my friend Allison's bed. she's not really hot so it was kind of awkward. I left quickly afterwards and that's pretty much it from that night.
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Post by softspoken on Feb 7, 2007 18:50:12 GMT -8
Oh man.... vodka is the shizznaaattt. I had my first blacked out experience of being drunk last friday. Like the drunk where you don't remember the night past a certain point and you wake up remembering you missed your curfew and didn't make it home. Sucks... a lot.
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